I'm losing it.
I think i really am.
Or maybe i've just stopped caring?
I've always wondered what this would feel like but honestly now that i have a taste of it, there's a part of me that wants to revert back.
and before you say it: no, i haven't lost my mind to my dreams. I wish i have.
I know i've said before that i've long since stopped caring about what other people think... and that's true... partially.
There was a small part of me that still cared.
That still hurt and wanted to crawl into a deep dark corner and cry my heart out.
But i think i've really stopped caring...
or at least not as much.
Maybe i'm growing up?
because learning that you can't please everyone in life is part of growing up.
Or maybe it's because i was hurt so much from before that i'm numb.
Today was the first day that i heard my dad say that if he could go back in time, he never would have married or had kids.
It hurt. but not as much as i thought.
I ended up going on youtube to watch glee while my parents continued arguing.
I'm sorry i'm not wanted.
But i'm not sorry that i've always wanted to leave from day one.
I think my mom knows it too.
She knows i hate it here.
She knows i want to move to another country.
She didn't even say 'if'.
She just said that she wants me to finish my education here in Canada first.
But i'm not completely heartless.
I don't want to leave my parents behind.
Who will take care of them when they get old?
Not my brother clearly.
The sad thing is, i find myself WISHING that the world will come to an end.
How sad is that?
But at the same time, i'm still living in an alternate reality.
It's the only way i get through everyday.
I just want my fairy tale to come true.
