Who I Used To Be.

Last night i had a dream.

I dreamt about every friend i had lost.

Needless to say, i dreamt about how i used to feel about you.
I still regret letting our friendship slip away, but this past year has kind of rekindled my hope of getting you in my life again.

Do you remember how we felt back then?

I liked you.
Supposedly, you liked me back.

But nothing ever happened, because as soon as we had gotten close, we drifted off again.

4 years. and not a peep from you. But as god would have it, last year we had a class together.
I think you were shocked that i remembered your birthday. How could i ever forget? It's funny. Your Birthday is the only one that i can remember effortlessly.

In my dream you were holding me.
It was everything a dream should be. Complete silence.

No words were needed because the actions said it all.
Your body said 'i missed you so much'.
Your eyes said 'i love you'.

I think... i was happy.
Or at least that's what i think 'happiness' is.
I felt so content, like i could die without a care in the world.

I miss you, you know.
I really really do.
Sometimes, i wonder if i shouldn't have left you to become friends with him.
I remember you hated him. Hated him so much.
To this day, i still wonder whether you hated him for his personality, or because he was slowly taking over my life while you were left at the sidelines.

If i could turn back time, i would relive every moment we had together, be it good or bad.
I actually can't believe that you still liked me after everything i put you through.
I was such a bitch back then. Still am probably.
But... i guess you just saw past it all.
I'm sorry i ever let you go.

Please don't leave me again...
I need you more than you know...
because
You bring back all the feelings i thought i'd lost.