Excitement. Terror.

I'm kind of scared.

Well, more than kind of.

I am honestly really terrified.
But i guess i'm terrified in a good way.

My mind wanders way more than i should let it. Most of the time you see me, i'm usually day dreaming about random things. And sometimes, i don't day dream about good things.

I'm scared because today i just randomly ran through a 'what if' scenario in my head.
That 'what if' was 'what if i lost you'.

And the fact that i nearly brought myself to tears just thinking briefly about it means quite a bit.

I don't think you honestly know how much you mean to me. The sad thing is, i don't know either.

You could probably say the exact same for me, and maybe it is true, but i just really really need to say this.

It's scary how much you mean to me. It's scary how much the loss of one person can cripple me. Or even the thought of it bring me to tears. It's honestly terrifying. But at the same time... i'm happy. Because that means that what i'm feeling for you isn't just some passing phase, or just a shallow emotion.

The fear of losing you doesn't necessarily mean that it's love, but that doesn't matter, because i know i do love you.

I'm so used to being empty.

It's weird to always be so happy.

Whenever you text me, i smile.
Whenever you call me, i smile.
Whenever i see you, i smile.

I'm so used to being sad, or apathetic, that i've forgotten how it felt to feel like this.


I think this time around i won't make the same mistakes.


You're not the center of my world.
You never will be.
But you will always be a part of it.


I'm going to stand on my own two feet,
But i'll know that when i can't,
there's always going to be someone for me to lean on.


I'm excited.

I can't wait to see what the future looks like =)